The Nth Degree

I recently went to see my hero Eddie Vedder on his first-ever solo tour. It was in a renovated theatre complete with grand balconies, velvet folding seats … and rude audience members. Since then, I’ve read countless articles about unruly fans in Boston, New York (from first-hand experience) and D.C. who have disrupted the balance of the Pearl Jam frontman’s intimate show. I find them embarrassing. However, it got me thinking about concert etiquette. There’s an unwritten code of conduct one should abide by when attending shows, but countless people break it time and again. In fact, you just may be one of them. So, here are a few key rules to stick by when you’re going to see a band live. It’ll help you to avoid looking like a novice, keep the peace and even make for a much more enjoyable experience.
 
#1            Do not go to the show wearing a T-shirt of the artist you’re seeing. Don’t ask me who made this rule up. I’m not sure, but I abide by it religiously. There’s something inherently lame and redundant about wearing a band shirt to their show. People don’t need a reminder of what show they’re seeing, and it’s not a symbol of your commitment to the band, even if your shirt is 10 years old. It just proves that you’re a tool.
 
#2            If you buy a T-shirt at the concert, wait until after the show (preferably at least two days after) to wear it. This rule is related to No. 1. For the same reasons you don’t want to wear your band shirt to the show, you don’t want to sport your brand-new, out-of-the-box T-shirt at the concert that isn’t even over yet. I would venture to say that rocking it the next day is overeager. Wait a week and let people think it’s been part of your wardrobe all along.
 
#3            The amount of enthusiastic yelling you do should be in direct proportion to the type of venue and the size of the show. In other words, don’t be a jerk. It’s one thing if you’re at Lollapalooza, in a field among tens of thousands, and it’s another if you’re in an almost hushed theatre like Radio City Music Hall. In between songs, clap and be merry, but save your nonsensical screaming for the Cruzan Amphitheatre and be respectful at The Vinyl. Also, you might miss some good banter if you’re yelling out crap.
 
#4            If it’s a big event, buy your merch before the show starts. There’s nothing worse than having your heart set on a tour poster only to find that it’s sold out. Although no one wants to hold a shirt or hoodie for two hours, it’s better to suck it up than miss out on a piece of cool memorabilia because you were being a baby. Some venues even sympathize with the customer by handing out wristbands for post-show pickup of early-purchased goods.
 
#5            If you’re in an outdoor seated venue, it’s OK to stand up. If it’s an indoor seated room, park it. There’s a certain level of respect that a venue commands. Even if you’re seeing someone you absolutely adore, it’s rude to stand when you’re in a traditional theatre. Amphitheatres with plastic seats and concrete floors are a different story. Go ahead and get up on your feet for an outdoor event, but keep it orderly inside.